First Contest. :)

      19 Comments on First Contest. :)

Today I want you to punch up your writing by scrubbing through it and deleting every boring, dull, passive word and replace it with a vibrant, active term.

Need an example? How’s this:

He ran.

Booooring. How’s this?

He ran fast.

Ugh. Even worse. Let’s keep working on it.

He shot out of the car like a bullet.

Eh. Better but not quite there.

What do you think?

Comment on my blog and show me how you would beef up the sentence. The writer who comes up with the most interesting sentence will win an e-book copy of my first novel. Enjoy and have fun.

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  • flashy

    How about ” He jumped out of the damn car and then ran like hell.”

  • AmyTalbot

    How about: He sprinted through the moonlit park as if the rapacious hounds of Hades snapped at his booted ankles

  • Awesome so far!

  • He cannonballed out of the Lexus and tore through the burnt August grass chasing his wretched hamster; the flailing, yellow shoelaces slapping his ankles were about to make his sprint very dangerous.

  • That one cracked me up! Excellent.

  • perseph1ne

    He burst out of the car in a cacophony of textbooks, pens, papers, jacket, and pair of sneakers.

  • You guys are doing great!

  • barbarjo

    He left all reason behind as he tore out of his mother’s house and landed squarely in the middle of the pumpkin patch.

  • Excellent work, writers! πŸ™‚

  • The young dog, unable to keep up, stopped and stared in awe, as his young master sprinted over the hill and out of view.

    He took off so fast, he never got a chance to smell his own fart

    He ran so fast, the sound of his feet beating the pavement was left behind him

    He sped into the distance so fast even NASA engineers were jealous

    There he was …gone

  • Oh my gosh. That one cracked me up. Thanks for the smile. πŸ™‚

  • Which one?

  • Yours. πŸ™‚

  • I meant which one of mine πŸ™‚

  • He rocketed towards the finish line like someone had stuck a cactus in his tailpipe.

  • Excellent work everyone!

  • He sprang forward, fingers stretched in unnatural form, sweat dripping from his forehead. Metal clanged off the ground. He snatched it up and forced it into the tiny hole. Swinging the small door opened he lunged inside only to retrieve fliers. No freelance writing checks this week.

  • Oh the pain! Very nice.

  • Hey Fictisha — you’re the winner. Great work, you made me smile. I’ve contacted you via your web form. Holler if you didn’t get it. πŸ™‚